Life at this age is such a strange thing. Pre-grandchildren, post-children. I'm taking this little interim to learn more about myself. To face death, to expand my mind, to come to grips with the fact that I may well be here for another 40 years and what the hell am I gonna do with that? I've taken on a new career. One should always challenge one's mind, and I'm learning how to be a dog groomer. It goes along the line of what I've always been- a nurturer. I raise kids, plants, animals. In a way, dogs are just terminal toddlers. Terminal toddlers with animalistic behaviors.
Anyway, I'm still evolving. More later.

I think the best thing I ever ever ever did in my whole life was raise my kids. Now, everyone feels their kids are special, I know this. Mine really are, here's why:
My daughter Emily.
Emily was a very contented baby and a curious and pleasant child. Her kindergarten teacher recognized her giftedness immediately and recommended her to the gifted program. She was always striving and loved to learn. She graduated valedictorian of her high school class, had a full scholarship to Vanderbilt University and graduated with a degree in Classical Language ranked 18th in her class. She's always been off the charts as far as academics go. More than that is the fact that as her mother I've been especially proud of our relationship through the years. She has always struck me as an old soul, wise beyond the boundaries of her age. We get along great, and always have. It's common for a girl to distance herself during her teen years, but that was not the case with Em. Don't misunderstand, she was no clinging vine! On the contrary, she felt confident enough to try things others might be shy of.
Now she is stepping out to explore the world- she will be going to Japan for a year to teach English.
Then there's Drew.
Drew came along immediately after Em, 14 months to be exact, and was a totally different kid. He was whiny as a baby, then grew into a thoughtful, empathetic and observant little boy. He was and is very attractive physically and very charming. Drew is every bit as intelligent as Emily, but he quickly became bored with school and as the years went by the education system failed him. After 2 years of college, he dropped out. Oddly enough, he is an intuitive and effective teacher! He tutors independantly and also teaches karate. I think Drew is a lot like me- I see many parallels in his thinking from when I was his age.
So both my children are teachers. They are both brilliant in their own ways and have a special gift in communicating. I guess that's why I am secretly so proud of the role I had in raising them.

Hot Tub

I guess its somewhat appropriate that I begin my blog with an article about my hot tub. It is after all, my place of solace and contemplation, of meditation and relaxation. I am a Pisces, a child of water, and this is where I belong. When I am in my tub, I feel very much like Bo Derek in the movie Splash, in the scene where she finally finds herself alone in Tom Hank's apartment and indulges in a soak in his tub. The expression on her face as she slowly unfurls her tailfins in the water is something I can totally relate to. Water is my home base, my most primal and basic need. When I'm in the hot tub, there is no other stimulus available to me. I can't read, write, talk on the phone, do puzzles. All I can do is deal with my brain, and all the myriad of thoughts that come through while I'm in there. It's a place of dealing with issues, a place of rehearsing retorts, and solving conundrums. Or its a place of meditation, of looking at the stars, feeling the heat of the water on my skin and releasing the pressures of the day. No wonder I gravitate to that holy place!
We've had the tub for three years now, and I'm still in there about four or five times a week. I assured Dennis, my husband, that it would be put to good use, and I have proven that ten fold. With all the stresses that life delivers, I can say that this one indulgence has maintained my sanity and kept me within the boundaries of life more than once.
As my old neighbor used to say to his lawnmower as we kids chuckled in the upstairs window, "My, oh my, what a wonderful machine!"